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KEN’S CLANGERS

Forwarded by Ken  

I wondered if the attached may be of interest for the newsletter, it's one of a series I wrote for our group newsletter. 
Regards 
Ken

On a recent flight with a low houred pilot to Exeter I was reminded of my early Flying Training days. Now I was a bit of a star pupil!  My instructor bashed me over the head with charts, rulers and anything else that came to hand, ‘what did you do that for’? Whack***** - a sort of night rating in daylight, at least there wasn’t room to throw a rubber! Just like school!

 

I had numerous instructors. However I eventually settled on an elderly and wise Kiwi who not only had a good sense of humour but also was a very good instructor (mostly). (I shall call him Ray though that’s not his real name, he just reminds me of someone). Ray had an Afghan PPL, a wife who was in the first Jumbo crash, and a moped (he lived in Kent and the flying school was at Skegness, Lincs and he couldn’t drive a car). The moped fuel tank being the receptacle for the fuel drainings. And to cap it all he had absolutely no idea where he was when flying, neither had I. So we (he) got into all sorts of trouble, with the military particularly. We also got on very well. He told me after my first arrival (sort of) he’d fly with me anywhere, bloody hell what a guy!!

 

Let me explain.  Lincolnshire in those days was full of military aircraft.  There were ranges to the north and south of Skegness, Conningsby with Tornado’s and Phantoms to the west, and Binbrook had Lightenings to the north. Not to mention Finningly, Cranwell, Barkston Heath, Scampton and Waddington, plus the seemingly hundreds of A10’s  waiting behind every tree, hedge, bush etc! They all considered North Lincolnshire as their playground, and it was all Open FIR or in Ray’s book OPEN FIRE!

 

On one particular occasion we managed to split a formation of Jaguars, I saw two very close below and evidently three went over us.  The ensuing phone call with Ray ended with a one sided discussion about cats sticking to drinking bloody milk! No small wonder New Zealand scrapped their Airforce.

 

It took a few years to reason why Ray and I ended up together. The last flight before my transfer to Ray was with a seasoned spray plane pilot.  We’d been on a late winters afternoon Navex in the clubs Cessna 150.  Now the old airfield at Skegness lies at sea level (another problem I couldn’t get my head round was that Skegness, Boston and Fenland had the same QFE and QNH - why didn’t other airfieds do that?), was very small, and from memory, the longest runway was about 480 meters and lay very wet in the winter.

 

The airfield was also surrounded by deep dykes, the bottoms of which

were regularly seen by visiting aircraft (I kid you not) so one had to arrive fairly precisely. Got the picture. On this trip I’d really pulled the stops out, and all had gone well for a change. I really wanted to finish with a bit of panache! A great landing…..real short field stuff (we hadn’t got that far in the training). So I had the bright idea of landing with the brakes ON. I could tell immediately we landed the instructor was impressed, as all he could say was F….k, promptly getting out and walking away - no whack no stars.  I did feel though, we should have had a chat about tightening seat belts before landing.

 

As I drove off the airfield I looked at the two skid marks which had an oil like sheen in the setting sun. I had a grin from ear to ear as I drove home. Cracked it at last - a Greaser. 

 

And so it was that Ray and I came to be wandering far and wide around Lincolnshire probing the RAF defences.

 

Then the great day came for my qualifying solo cross country. The route being west to the Skegness railway line, follow that south to Boston , then on west again to Nottingham .  Land, then sort of northish (never been good on headings) to Humberside, then on back to Skegness.  Now I had two problems with this.  First, the viz was crap and secondly I’d never been to Humberside before. On the first problem I was assured by Ray that I had an above average knowledge of the local area. Which really meant I was slightly better than him at groping my way round.  Humberside, he added, was only really busy with North Sea helicopters and they could land anywhere - couldn’t they? Not therefore a problem to me.  I was rather doubtful on this last reassuring fact!

 

All this was before GPS was ever thought of and lots of controlled airspace to contend with.

 

Off I went, seriously lacking in confidence. Conningsby was busy chatting to the BBMF on a photo shoot (at least I could say I’d worked alongside a couple of Spitfires and Lancaster – on the radio that is).  We, Cessna 150 G-ATYN (better known as Yankee No-wonder, the scourge of the RAF) and I reached Boston ok , turned right and tuned in Radio Nottingham on NDB, flew past Belvoir Castle, bang on track, changed to Nottingham, turned left at the Fosse way and switched off the NDB.  No problems.  My confidence starting to build I reported to the Tower.  ‘Where’s the bit of paper to sign?’  Ray had forgotten to send it.  Great.  I knew my way to Nottingham but no one had shown me the way home! Fortunately Ray, the little charmer, said he’d put in the post.

 

Humberside, my next stop, was no real problem.  My confidence was beginning to take over, I was almost blasé about it all now.  I phoned Fran to say I would be flying a little to the south of home on the Skegness leg, and I could route slightly north to fly over our house near Louth. That would be in 30 minutes or so. This all panned out beautifully, I saw Fran waving with both arms in the back yard. To show it was me, I pitched, yawed and did everything I could think of (pretty limited as this was my very first flying display after all) before continuing on my way. The rest of the flying day was pretty mundane. I booked out and went home.

 

I walked through the house door with another ear to ear grin.  ‘You saw me then’ I said to Fran.  ‘No’.   I thought she was winding me up but she wasn’t, I could tell.  So who was that in the yard waving enthusiastically?  I glanced out of the window, to see…… my boiler suit on the washing line, swaying gently in the breeze!!!!!

 

My first and last attempt at performing in front of a crowd. 

 

Not long after this Ray headed south on his moped for the last time. I’d learnt a lot from the old bugger. Not least we are all very human and that our type of flying is for fun something not taught by modern instructors.

 

The flying club CFI changed to a real pilot and the atmosphere within the club became relaxed.  I gained my licence, moving away from Lincolnshire not many months afterwards. The RAF no doubt much relieved and the MOD  had saved a fortune on phone calls. I still whisper on the radio when I fly in the area lest anyone remembers……!

 

 

 

 

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